Cold and flu season is here, and before long your partner may come down with a notorious “man cold” — sometimes jokingly called him-fluenza or bro-chitis. Whatever name you use, it often looks like a dramatic, prolonged bout of misery. Below are nine common signs that he’s suffering from what you might call a Dude-onic Plague.
How To Tell If Your Husband Is Suffering From A Man Cold
He insists it’s far worse than anything you’ve experienced and that you couldn’t possibly understand. The tone is sincere: this illness is unprecedented, uniquely brutal, and absolutely different from any ordinary cold.
He asks for medicine around the clock. Even if he took a dose minutes ago, he’ll request more relief. Pain relievers, cough medicine, throat lozenges — nothing feels like enough.
He won’t get his own medicine. Despite being perfectly capable, he expects you to fetch pills, open packets, or refill his water glass. Self-care suddenly seems like someone else’s responsibility.
He asks for help with everything. Routine tasks become momentous chores. He may move more slowly, seek assistance for small things, and generally demand more care than usual.
He coughs and clears his throat in an exaggerated, noisy way. Spitting or hacking becomes loud and conspicuous, with no attempt to be discreet. It’s as if he wants to ensure everyone nearby knows how awful he feels.
He’s mysteriously unable to operate a thermometer. “Will you take my temperature?” becomes a repeated plea. He may claim he can’t figure out how to use it properly or insists you must do it for accuracy.
He hasn’t left the couch in days. Extended couch-bound recovery is a hallmark: naps, blankets, and a strict no-standing policy for far longer than the illness likely warrants.
He needs extra comfort and affection. Cuddles, hugs, and reassurance go a long way during his recovery — sometimes more than the medicine itself.
He retells the tale of his suffering for months afterward. The story of “the worst cold ever” becomes part of his regular repertoire, resurfacing in conversation well after he’s back on his feet.
If he contests your observation that he’s overdramatic, you can point to research that suggests men and women may experience and report symptoms differently. Studies have explored how biological and social factors influence illness behavior, and some findings indicate women might cope with colds more resiliently. That said, individual experiences vary and the best response is usually care, rest, and a little good-natured teasing.