At 46, I went through an identity crisis as my kids started leaving home and I sold a business I had built from scratch and loved. Losing both my roles as a mom and a business owner left me in a funk. I knew I needed a change, a reinvention—something to make life feel exciting and meaningful again. I kept thinking about the phrase “Live the story you want to tell,” and after decades of struggling with my weight, I decided to enter a bikini competition to see if I could uncover the body I’d always imagined was hidden beneath extra pounds.
Here’s a recap of my prior fitness competitions
- My first bikini competition – the first time I truly lost weight after a six-month prep and transformation (2020).
- The second show – a bucket-list experience (2021).
- The third show – where I documented my diet and workout plan (2022).
- The fourth show – and the reasons I compete (2023).
Then came 2024. After vowing never to compete again, I signed up for another show in August. I was reluctant—standing next to very fit competitors left me feeling insecure, and I often didn’t push myself as hard as others. Still, I kept thinking maybe this time would be different: maybe I’d lift heavier, prioritize protein more, and surprise everyone with a stronger physique. With my husband’s encouragement, I committed to an 18-week prep for the last competition of the year in San Diego. Procrastination cost me two weeks, so it became a 16-week prep.
People often assume I’m always dieting and undereating, but between 2023’s contest and this prep I had actually gained 23 pounds—evidence I wasn’t under-eating. Over the next 16 weeks I committed fully. I rarely felt deprived because I’m skilled at filling up on low-calorie, high-volume foods. I consistently ate around 1,500 calories while losing weight, which made me suspect I may have been consuming 2,000–2,500 calories when not tracking.
Doing the competition my way!
This time I decided to prep my way. My rules included:
- Keep running for cardio and mental health—run as much as I wanted without fearing muscle loss.
- Skip progress photos and public check-ins—posing in a bikini for selfies is not for me.
- Not hire a coach. I tend to do my own thing anyway and didn’t want the expense for a hobby.
- Not obsess over practicing poses—I’d present myself in a way that felt comfortable.
- Prioritize calories over strict macro policing, though I naturally ate over 100 grams of protein most days.
- Keep stress low and treat the show as a personal challenge, not a make-or-break event.
Despite my laid-back approach, nerves hit about two weeks before the show. I wrestled with self-doubt and the scale stalled multiple times. My husband offered an out—skip the stage and enjoy a vacation—but after 16 weeks of prep, I couldn’t back down. I went on stage and placed 2nd out of 8 in my class, which surprised and thrilled me so much that I now want to compete again.
So, here’s what I learned in the last 16 weeks, losing 23 lbs:
I realized I enjoy the process of prepping more than the competition itself. Having a clear goal and strict boundaries helps me stay accountable. During the diet I was surprisingly consistent even through holidays, parties, and a short vacation where we ate out all day. I stuck to calories, avoided post-party regrets, and felt better physically and mentally than I can remember during any holiday season.
I also rediscovered that lifting in prep gives purpose to my workouts, and telling people about my journey keeps me motivated. I learned a lot about how I use food to cope and delay life tasks, and how much more productive I am when I don’t procrastinate with snacks.
1) One crumb does matter
Small untracked bites accumulate into hundreds of extra calories and undermine progress. Every crumb counts when you want to see results.
2) Momentum is everything
Progress builds on itself. Early wins make it easier to stay disciplined; setbacks make slipping into old habits easier. Once the scale moves, I tighten up and keep going.
3) I use food as a distraction
Food often became my procrastination tool. When I resisted the urge to snack to avoid work, my focus and productivity soared.
4) Eating all my calories by 10am is never a good idea
Early overeating feeds into a day of poor decisions. If I start grazing to avoid a task, the day can spiral quickly.
5) Morning workouts are essential for me
If I don’t exercise first thing, it rarely happens later. Mornings are when I get my workouts done consistently.
6) Vegetables are life
Low-calorie vegetables became my best friends. They fill me up and keep me satisfied—steamed broccoli, cucumbers, and cauliflower were staples.
7) I can eat more than 1,200 calories if I track honestly
When every bite, condiment, and sip is tracked, I can lose weight on 1,500 calories. The key is honest tracking and accurate portion measurements.
8) High protein and high fiber are very satiating
Prioritizing protein and fiber made sticking to a calorie plan much easier. My typical day included veggies with egg whites for breakfast, a green salad with chicken for lunch, a protein shake and berries in the afternoon, and protein with vegetables for dinner.
9) Most women over 50 have saggy skin, just like me
Loose skin is a reality for many of us as we age. Competing in the 50+ division brought camaraderie and support—everyone was facing similar challenges, which was comforting.
10) Diet soda causes bloating
Eliminating diet soda quickly reduced bloating and helped tighten my waistline. I wish I’d cut it out earlier in prep.
11) Stay out of the kitchen
Hanging out in the kitchen invites grazing and mindless eating. The less time I spend there, the easier it is to stick to the plan.
12) Boring, repetitive meals make dieting simpler
Limiting choices reduces decision fatigue and temptation. Having a few reliable staples removes guesswork and prevents grazing at buffets of options.
13) I give in to cravings more quickly than I realized
When I pause before acting on a craving, I regain control. Mindful eating—waiting and deciding—helps prevent impulsive indulgence.
14) Untracked calories can exceed the meal itself
Tasting and snacking while cooking adds up fast. Small strategies like chewing gum or having low-calorie snacks on hand help prevent untracked bites.
15) Faith matters
Believing that I’ve done this before and can do it again made it easier to trust the process and stay consistent.
16) Question my stories
Many beliefs I held—about cravings, certain foods, or habits—proved not to be absolute truths. Challenging those stories helped me change behavior and regain freedom around food.
17) Eating by the clock helped
Structured meal times with clear beginnings and endings reduced snacking and made it easier to stick to a plan. Scheduling meals every few hours prevented constant grazing.
What’s next for me!
Next up is maintenance. My goal this year is to learn how to maintain weight without constant struggle. I’d like to avoid gaining more than ten pounds and find a sustainable balance. I’m also preparing for a new chapter—becoming a grandmother in summer 2025—and I want to be present, healthy, and active for that role.
On the business side, I’ll keep blogging and developing low-calorie recipes. My husband and I also bought a vending machine business, which has been an exciting new challenge and a lot of work. I’m eager for the reinvention ahead and for whatever new goals and hobbies come next.
